She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
