she looked like the bat from fern gully.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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