walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
