When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
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