Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
