In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
