there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
