So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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