make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
