the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
