After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize