When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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