Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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