girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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