PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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