wat bout pragnant strippers??
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
