just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
