32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
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