I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
please come you make the beer taste better
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
