Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
