their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
