Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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