also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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