Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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