so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Randomize
