Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
