dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
