apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
