Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
