I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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