I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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