If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
