i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
