I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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