perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
