But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
