I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
