he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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