You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
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