So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the day after is always just damage control
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
