Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
