sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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