You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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