Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
