My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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