he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I came so hard my ears popped.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
