you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize