I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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