break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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