ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
