I accidentally burped into my bong.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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