im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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