i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
