I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
