You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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