My first STD was from a foam party
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
