Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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