no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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