i just wanna soil my oats bro
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
