sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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