I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
