Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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