bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
