Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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