either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
